I get out of bed. I am wearing sweat pants, sweat shirt, gloves, and socks. Protection from the nighttime cold to prevent my nerves from sending needles into my hands, feet, and legs.
I swallow pills with water heated in the microwave. My stomach seems to be calm so I drink a little more hot water (you can just imagine how refreshing this is) knowing that I am dehydrated and need to get as much fluid in my body as possible. There is nothing worse than drinking heated Gatorade or Pedialyte...
Stomach remains calm, so I decide to try breakfast. I get it down and return to my spot on the couch. The pets jump up to join me. They like all the warm clothes and blankets! All four of us drift off on the couch with the TV quietly playing in the background.
When I wake up again, the dreaded nausea has returned. It seems to be a kind of motion sickness. If I don't move I feel relatively OK, but the moment I stand up I am nauseous. I gag often, but nothing comes up. Thankfully, the pharmacist has made a phenergan compound that can be rubbed on my wrists, bypassing the stomach and knocking out the nausea. It knocks me out too, and I sleep more.
With each treatment the side effects seem to hang around longer. This doesn't really give me encouragement for the next eight treatments. I don't like this. I wonder if I can really do eight more. I am clinging to my verse of the week: "But as for me, I trust in you." Psalm 55:23
I start to cry again, but it is painful after the Neulasta injection. I have so many tears inside that can't find a way out.
Cancer is an awful disease. Every week I see so many people suffering as they fight for their lives. Many are elderly, some are young, some have been fighting for years and years. For some it has become a chronic disease, they continue to receive chemo treatments for months and years, just to keep the tumors at bay. I honestly cannot imagine how they do it.
I pray daily that no one else in my family or extended family ever has to fight this battle.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14