Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Glory of God

I love flowers. I love to have fresh flowers in my house, and I love to have flowers blooming in the yard. I love every type of flower and every color. I just love flowers. I have received so many flowers in the last six months from people who had no idea of how much I love them. But God knows, and to me they were an expression not only of that person's love for me but also of His love. An incredible picture of the beauty and joy of our Creator. A sweet reminder that He is here and a sweet reminder of so many who are praying for me.


So, I thought I'd let you see the flowers I have received! I hope you love them too!





"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. 
The skies display his craftsmanship.
 Day after day they continue to speak; 

night after night they make him known.
 They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard.
 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
      and their words to all the world."

Psalm 19:1-4

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

I was trying to think of something profound to say about Thanksgiving or gratefulness. But I don't have anything. All I know is that I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for the sounds of laughter in my house. I am grateful for the scent of pies cooking in the kitchen. I am grateful for books scattered on the kitchen table. I am grateful for my husband and my children. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for the love that has been showered on us this year. I am grateful for amazing, compassionate doctors and nurses. I am grateful for my faithful friends. I am grateful for my church. I am grateful for the chance to see the Body of Christ in action. I am grateful for all the things I am learning. 


More than anything, I am grateful to be a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I am grateful that He knows me and He loves me completely. I am grateful that He never leaves me. I am grateful that when I am weak, He is strong. There is no other God above Him and I will serve Him and praise Him forever.


"Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other." Deuteronomy 4:39



"Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and strength belong to our God forever and ever! Amen.” Revelation 7:12


The cooks



The feast!


Family


A game of kitchen basketball


Sweet friends!


More family





Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Letters


Dear Friends,

As most of you know, I was honored a couple of weeks ago by an
organization called Inspire Women. It was a nice luncheon and they
gave me a beautiful award to take home.

Yesterday, as I was at the doctor's office getting IV fluids, I
received a phone call from Inspire Women. They said they had a gift
for me and they wanted to bring it to the house. When I got home, I
found a beautiful red leather box waiting for me. When I opened it
up, it was full of letters from family, friends, and COF staff. I spent the next hour
reading your kind words and crying. They were good tears! I can't
tell you how much I love and appreciate each one of you! Your
encouragement came at the perfect time, after a very difficult week
for me. It always surprises me how God knows what we need right
when we need it! Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I'm
pretty sure I could never measure up to all the things you said,
but I will continue to strive to be all that God wants me to be as
He walks with me through life.

I am so thankful that God brought each of you to my life and that I
have the opportunity to serve Him with you. You each are amazing
and gifted. I love seeing God use you. I am blessed beyond measure!

Thank you!
Laura

p.s. Lalo - please give my thanks and love to my sweet la carpio
family! Talk about tears... what an incredible blessing to read
their words and to have them reminding me of God's goodness and
quoting Scripture to me!!  God has been so good to allow me to see
the transformation in their lives! Love you!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Rehydrated and it feels so good!

I can honestly say that the last week was the worst I've ever felt in my life. Granted, that's not really saying much because I've rarely been sick in my life! I had pneumonia when I was ten, and I get migraine headaches, but other than that, I just haven't been sick. So, this has been a whole new thing for me.


Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I was so weak that I rarely moved from my spot on the couch, and I continued to sleep away the hours. Apparently most of this weakness has been due to my inability to take in enough fluid to remain hydrated. Today I spent four hours at the doctor's office where they drew blood for lab tests and infused two liters of IV fluids. That's a lot of fluid! Think of a two liter bottle of Coke - pumped into my thirsty system. My body was so low on fluids that I didn't even need to go to the bathroom after having that amount of liquid added to my circulation! I felt much better afterward, and everyone agreed I definitely looked better! I'm not sure that's saying much either at this point! : )


We are looking forward to Thanksgiving with all our kids, family, and a few special friends! Sarah is already home. Ashley, David and Sydneyann will be home Tuesday along with their friends Samantha and Geoff. I know that having everyone home has the potential to tire me out, but I think the strength of being surrounded by family will overshadow anything else! I am looking forward to lots of laughs and hugs and making new memories!



Sunday, November 22, 2009

Side Benefits

Little-known side benefits of chemotherapy:
  • You can stay in your pajamas all day (or all week!) and no one thinks less of you
  • You don't have to brush your hair - no one cares
  • You can fall asleep at any time making napping very easy
  • You have no short-term memory - this can be bad, but it can also be a good thing!
  • The hair on your legs and under your arms stops growing - no need to shave!
  • You always have a good excuse for anything...
  • Lifetime Membership in the "I survived cancer and cancer treatment" Club
  • You develop a deep empathy for all those fighting cancer
  • You meet the most amazing, strong, courageous people along the way
"I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth"
Psalm 121:1-2

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Still Standing

CHEMO ROUND 4 - AND THE WINNER IS...    LAURA SHOOK!!!!


      Chemo - 0        Laura - 4


It is Saturday morning. I have been through a huge physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual battle this week. But I woke up this morning with the knowledge that I am still standing. I am weak and exhausted, but I survived round 4!


So many of you have been the hands, feet, and voice of Jesus to me this week. You know who you are. I honestly believe that I would not have survived without you. You came alongside me just when I needed you. You gave me rides, watched over me as I slept, held my hand, gave me hugs, brought me flowers, spoke encouraging words, enticed me to drink fluids, and brought me food at the exact moment that I needed it. I am convinced that if not for you I would not have eaten all week. I just didn't have the strength or motivation to do it. I believe that you gave life to me this week. God used you and I have been blessed because of it.


And so many of you have spoken and prayed Scripture over me. You continue to stand in the gap for me. When I think of you I am overwhelmed by your love. There are no words to express what is in my heart and what you do for me on a daily basis. Thank you.


Donald brought me the new House Blend 2 worship CD yesterday. I have listened to it over and over, letting God's truth wash over me. This morning, as I find myself still standing after round four, I am reminded of the lyrics of one of the songs on the CD, The Stand by Hillsong:


So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all.
So I'll stand, my soul Lord to You abandoned, all I am is Yours.


I can't raise my arms very high for very long at this point, but my heart and soul are abandoned to You, Lord. Thank you for seeing me through this week. Thank you for your mercy and your grace. Thank you that when I am weak, You are strong.


I am still standing.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thursday morning

The last 72 hours I've spent either sleeping in a chemo infusion chair, sleeping on the couch, or sleeping in my bed. I wake up Thursday morning wishing I could sleep the next 72 hours and wake up next week instead. Before getting out of bed I run a few tests. Am I able to open my eyes? I couldn't open them Monday afternoon due to issues with muscle control. The eyes are working. Next I check the hands and feet for numbness and tingling. Do they move when I command them to? Can I bend my legs? Everything seems to be working this morning. I check the ileostomy for diarrhea. Yes, it's back, as expected.


I get out of bed. I am wearing sweat pants, sweat shirt, gloves, and socks. Protection from the nighttime cold to prevent my nerves from sending needles into my hands, feet, and legs. 


I swallow pills with water  heated in the microwave. My stomach seems to be calm so I drink a little more hot water (you can just imagine how refreshing this is) knowing that I am dehydrated and need to get as much fluid in my body as possible. There is nothing worse than drinking heated Gatorade or Pedialyte...


Stomach remains calm, so I decide to try breakfast. I get it down and return to my spot on the couch. The  pets jump up to join me. They like all the warm clothes and blankets! All four of us drift off on the couch with the TV quietly playing in the background.


When I wake up again, the dreaded nausea has returned. It seems to be a kind of motion sickness. If I don't move I feel relatively OK, but the moment I stand up I am nauseous. I gag often, but nothing comes up. Thankfully, the pharmacist has made a phenergan compound that can be rubbed on my wrists, bypassing the stomach and knocking out the nausea. It knocks me out too, and I sleep more.


With each treatment the side effects seem to hang around longer. This doesn't really give me encouragement for the next eight treatments. I don't like this. I wonder if I can really do eight more. I am clinging to my verse of the week: "But as for me, I trust in you." Psalm 55:23


I start to cry again, but it is painful after the Neulasta injection. I have so many tears inside that can't find a way out. 


Cancer is an awful disease. Every week I see so many people suffering as they fight for their lives. Many are elderly, some are young, some have been fighting for years and years. For some it has become a chronic disease, they continue to receive chemo treatments for months and years, just to keep the tumors at bay. I honestly cannot imagine how they do it.


I pray daily that no one else in my family or extended family ever has to fight this battle. 



“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Exodus 14:14