Sunday night as I was sitting around dreading Monday I was reminded that I am in a war and I have an enemy.
"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy..." John 10:10
So, I thought I better polish my weapons for the fight. I spent the next hour putting together all the Scripture verses that God has led me to over these past six months. I am taking them with me to chemotherapy this week so that I can meditate on them while I'm there. I've even decided to try to memorize one verse each week. If you want to do that with me, here is the verse for this week:
"But as for me, I trust in You" Psalm 55:23
It's pretty simple, but I think if we carry this verse in our minds this week it could make significant changes in the way the week goes.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world." 2 Corinthians 10:3-4
The song Live What I Believe played in my head all night Sunday and was playing in my head all morning before I left to go get chemo. I like how God does that for me.
Monday was a rough day. Thankfully, the new anti-nausea medication seems to be working. However, it is known that the effects of chemo are cumulative, normally getting more severe with each treatment. For me, that meant that by the time I left the doctor's office my muscles were already drawing up. My hands do weird contortions that are out of my control. My calf muscles are tight. When we finally got home, I wasn't sure I would be able to get out of the car. I made it out but had a lot of difficulty walking. I couldn't bend my legs or lift my feet off the ground. My feet were turning in. So, I shuffled along, like the Bride of Frankenstein, and made it to the couch where I immediately fell fast asleep. Later I washed my hands and discovered the effects of a new side effect. The temperature of the tap water let me know that the nerves in my hands are now feeling the effects of the chemo. It felt like needles sticks all over for my hands. Touching anything cold causes this reaction - a door knob, a handle, a glass, the computer keyboard. I am now typing with very nice purple gloves on my hands! The next few months are going to be lots of fun!
The good news is I am one day closer to done! And the weapons of my warfare have divine power!
Thank you for praying, and please don't stop!
I have already prayed for you this morning before I ever flipped the power on my computer, thanking the Lord that He gives Himself and not things, which is so much better, asking Him to be your strength and your mercy and your healing. I asked Him to be ever present and to touch you with love and healing.
ReplyDeleteI also came across a poem written on the wall of a Nazi concentration camp that was liberated. It touched me, and I thought you might want to tuck it away. It's for the times when we are waiting on the Lord.
I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.
I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God, even when He is silent.
I love the Psalm that you chose. I memorized one for the Experiencing God, Blackaby study I am doing.
Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots, and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."
The Lord was kind to me weeks ago when this was my verse to commit. I ride my bike all the time with my two littlest kids en-tow behind me in a Chariot carrier, ironically, and I was further back in the OT reading through many battles where there were chariots and armour and armour bearers, etc. How much faster a horse can make us, or how something that could not be moved now can and quickly because of wheels. It's easy to see why people would put their trust in those things, but we, the Lord's people, trust in the Lord our God. Just saying His name is power, and there is none or nothing greater.
May the Lord be ever present with you. May His refining fire be mighty and merciful to you in bringing you closer to resembling Him. May we all read your words and be drawn ever closer to Him through our prayers and reverence and honor Him with our words, our thoughts, our attitudes, and our lives as He deserves.
I just posted about this very subject a couple days ago...how we are in a battle. I am reading a book by John Eldredge and the fact that we are in a battle really just sank in... here is just a blurb:
ReplyDeleteThe thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest- Jesus ( John 10:10)
Before He promised us life, Jesus warned that a thief would try to steal, kill and destroy it. How come we don't think that the thief actually steals, kills and destroys? You won't understand your life, you won't see clearly what has happened to you or how to live forward from here, unless you see it as a battle. "
He also says:
Most people get stuck at some point because God appears to have abandoned them. he is not coming through. Speaking about her life with a mixture of disappointment and cynicism, a young woman recently said to me' "God is rather silent right now." Yes, it's been awful. I don't discount that for a moment. She is unloved; she is unemployed; she is under a lot. But her attitude strikes me as deeply naive, on the level of someone caught in a cross fire who asks, rather shocked and with a sense of betrayal, "God, why won't you make them stop firing at me?" I'm sorry, but that's not where we are right now. It's not where we are in the Story. That day is coming, later, when the lion shall lied down with the lamb and we'll beat swords with plowshares. For now, its bloody battle.
(((( HUGE HUG )))))
Hi Laura,
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful to have your site!!! I have been trying to catch up on all of your post and waiting to leave a message...BUT...I have will have to postpone that for next week.
I am so very sorry that the chemo is so very harsh!!! I follow several people that get premedicated with Demerol, etc and it really helps with those after effects. Also, have you tried Neurontin for the nerve pain??
I pray that you are feeling better SOON!!!
I will be praying!
James 5:15-16
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Love ya!!
C.O.L.E.'s Foundation
(Caring Openly, Loving Eternally)
www.colesfoundation.com
Email: sandy@colesfoundation.com
24/7 Prayer Line 888-365-COLE (2653)
Sandy Daron
I love you! Tears for you today my sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteThe Pattersons have not stopped praying for you! I understand the feeling of nauseau just walking into the room, (well-Jim does) b/c he does the exact same thing. We're polishing our weapons as well, so we can battle for you in those times that you just cannot.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and to God be the glory,
Rebecca
ps. I see a whole new line of "Laura gloves", it will become a new trend.
Dear Laura,
ReplyDeleteThough I haven't written you, I have prayed for you daily, as well as for Mark. As we go through cancer in our own family with Christi, we are blessed to pray for others who are going through similar battles. Please know that Terry and I will continue to uplift your name to our Lord and that we will rejoice with you, the Pattersons and our family when all this poo-poo cancer stuff is behind us!!! Thanks for listing the scriptures that you want to commit to memory. I had told Terry that very idea just last week, that I want to memorize a scripture of praise each week. I find that I can either worry or praise and I get that choice. When I choose to worry, I just get sick. Why would I choose that?!! So I'm praising God for His promise of healing and I'm going to memorize the same verses that you post so we can be voicing the scripture in harmony! Take care and rest in His peace.
Laura,
ReplyDeleteWords could not express how proud I am of you. You are such a blessing and inspiration to me. In the good times and the not so good times you honor GOD with your heart and mind. I have prayed for you from day 1 when you got the dreadful news. And I will continue to ask GOD to bless and keep you close to HIM, and to give you everything you need to get through all of this. I know HE must look at you and smile, and I know HE is proud of you.
Thank you for sharing your life, but more importantly for sharing your faith. May GOD bless you far beyond what I could ever hope, think or wish for you.
In HIS Eternal Love,
jim