Saturday, November 21, 2009

Still Standing


      Chemo - 0        Laura - 4

It is Saturday morning. I have been through a huge physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual battle this week. But I woke up this morning with the knowledge that I am still standing. I am weak and exhausted, but I survived round 4!

So many of you have been the hands, feet, and voice of Jesus to me this week. You know who you are. I honestly believe that I would not have survived without you. You came alongside me just when I needed you. You gave me rides, watched over me as I slept, held my hand, gave me hugs, brought me flowers, spoke encouraging words, enticed me to drink fluids, and brought me food at the exact moment that I needed it. I am convinced that if not for you I would not have eaten all week. I just didn't have the strength or motivation to do it. I believe that you gave life to me this week. God used you and I have been blessed because of it.

And so many of you have spoken and prayed Scripture over me. You continue to stand in the gap for me. When I think of you I am overwhelmed by your love. There are no words to express what is in my heart and what you do for me on a daily basis. Thank you.

Donald brought me the new House Blend 2 worship CD yesterday. I have listened to it over and over, letting God's truth wash over me. This morning, as I find myself still standing after round four, I am reminded of the lyrics of one of the songs on the CD, The Stand by Hillsong:

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all.
So I'll stand, my soul Lord to You abandoned, all I am is Yours.

I can't raise my arms very high for very long at this point, but my heart and soul are abandoned to You, Lord. Thank you for seeing me through this week. Thank you for your mercy and your grace. Thank you that when I am weak, You are strong.

I am still standing.


  1. This post is amazing. Its beautiful from head to toe as you are.

    While your still standing, I'm clapping my hands off. I'm whooping and hollering and doing crazy moves that should get me straight jacketed.

    I love your friends who are making you eat, making you drink, holding your hand and giving you rides and sitting with you as you sleep. That just touches my heart so very much and may God grant them blessings and happiness, joy and fullness in their day!

    And, may God give you the strength every day and for every moment and for every breath until this is done and kicked to the curb.

    You are so loved. Your not going through this alone and you will prevail!!!!

    Love love love love love love, Libby :)

  2. :) Weebles may wobble, but they never fall down! I'm going to have to see about buying you a featherweight prize fighter's winning belt buckle!

  3. One more thing, o.k. maybe a few more things....
    Chemo is horrific and yet miraculous. They pump the toxic cocktail into your body and it gives you horrific physical and emotional side effects. It takes you to the brink of feeling like you are dying in order to prevent you from dying…miraculous. I can’t stress to you enough to succumb to the anti nausea drugs and the sleep. Take those drugs like clockwork even before the nausea hits on the days you know are going to be bad. Just sleep (or leave the planet as I called it), some days it will be the only way to make it through.
    Love you and wish I was there.

  4. Beautiful and insightful as always. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Fight, fight, fight!

  5. Hi Laura,
    A friend of mine, Kathy McDonald, told me about your blog and all that you are going through. I can't imagine how tough this road is that you are walking. I am amazed to see your strength and how real you are about your journey. I can already see how God is using you in the lives of others.

    My husband and I are missionaries in Sweden and we are praying for you: for peace, endurance, strength, an extra measure of faith, that you will feel Jesus arms around you when things become bigger than you, that you will grow in your own personal faith and relationship to Jesus and that you will continue to tell your story.

    Hugs and Blessings from Sweden,
    Lance and Kathy Higgins
    Serving with Greater Europe Mission