He is for me

I go back to the oncologist tomorrow to begin treatment #5. It would be an understatement to say that I am not looking forward to this week. In fact, I have been dreading it since the end of my last treatment. It is a constant battle in my mind to choose peace, to choose to trust, and to choose to submit my desires and my life to God's hands. It seems like it should be so easy. Knowing who God is and knowing how much He loves me, and yet I struggle. 


The crazy thing is that even through my struggle I have found Him here, faithfully calling out to me and giving His strength and encouragement to me. For the past 72 hours the song "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe has been playing literally non-stop in my head. Every time I wake up in the night the lyrics are still going through my head. At first I thought this is just a song that I like so I am singing it. And then I realized that it wasn't me. God was singing it to me. He has been reminding me that I can trust him with this treatment and with this week. He is for me. He will be here. Whatever happens, however I feel, He will be here and carry me through. 


You are For Me - Kari Jobe

So faithful, So constant, So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me, You see me, You know my every Move
You love for me to sing to You


I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down, Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are


So patient, So gracious, So merciful and true
So wonderful in all you do
You fill me, You see me, You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You


I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down, even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

He is for me. That's all I need.


Family update: Our son, David, is sick with swine flu! He and his wife have been here for Thanksgiving. Thankfully, Mark and I have had swine flu vaccines, but no one else in the family has. Please pray that the girls will not get sick. They have three weeks left in this semester that will be full of research paper deadlines and exams. They don't have time to be sick! My immune system is weak due to chemo, so pray that the vaccine actually provides immunity for me! And, of course, please pray that David will feel better soon! Thank you!