I am one of those people who like to have a schedule, like to keep a calendar, like to make lists and check things off. I can see you smiling already because you know what has happened to my plans! Obviously the past week has really blown my schedule to pieces!
The first thing I said when I was told of the tumor was, "But I'm going to Africa!"
My all important question for the surgeon yesterday was not a medical question. I asked him, "I am supposed to leave for Africa next week and be gone for a month. What do you think about that?"
Of course he smiled and said, "You need to just go ahead and cancel those plans. Let's get you well first."
I don't take kindly to having my plans messed up! In fact it made me a little angry! I was having a conversation with God about this situation the other day and it went something like this:
"I am supposed to go to Africa in June! And I'm going with the group to Costa Rica in July! And I'm going to my nephew's wedding in August! And we're moving Ashley to college soon. You can't just come in here and mess up all my plans! I mean, who do you think you are anyway? God??"
- silent pause -
"Oh, yeah, you ARE God. I guess maybe Your plans are better than my plans."
This revelation led to the exchange of my calendar and my plans for God's. I know His plans for me are perfect.
My sweet friend, Dave, wrote this recently and it stuck with me: "So many times God has denied me the desires of my heart only to provide me with the needs of my soul." And I think that's what He's doing now in my life.
We received the report of the second biopsy today. They found cancer cells. I will have the PET scan tomorrow to check the rest of the body for cancer cells. I will go see a radiologist and oncologist the end of the week.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11