Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Help me Live

The Shook family is a book family.  All of us enjoy reading.  One of our family's favorite things to do is go to Barnes & Noble and spend a couple of hours browsing through the books.  We even have a room in our house named the "Great Reading Room" (named, of course, after the Great Reading Room at the OU Library!).  So, naturally, after receiving a diagnosis of cancer, we began to search for and buy books about cancer. Books about types of cancer, causes of cancer, treatment of cancer, living with cancer, etc., etc.   I think we now have every book ever published about cancer.  One of them is so thick that I told Mark we wouldn't finish reading it until after I had been well for years.  

Out of all of those books, the one that has been the most helpful is called "Help Me Live - 20 things people with cancer want you to know" by Lori Hope.  If you have a friend or family member  with cancer I strongly recommend that you read this book.  Your friend or family member will be glad you did.  The book is written by a former cancer patient and it is intended to help those dealing with cancer in their circle of family and friends best know how to encourage that person on their journey.  It is literally a list of 20 things, plus several other lists and helpful suggestions.

Here are a few of the top 20 that resonated with me and my comments:
1.  It's OK to say or do the wrong thing. -  In fact you can just say, "I don't know what to say, but I wanted you to know that I love you and I'm praying for you."
2.  I like to hear success stories, not horror stories.  -  You wouldn't believe some of the stories I've heard from well-meaning people!
3.  I need to forget - and laugh.  - Thanks to Cary, Teri, and PJ for always providing the humor!  I love you!
4.  I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice.  - Please stop looking at me with pity!  In a moment of frustration today I told Mark, "I am not a weenie sick person!!  I am fine!" I am more than my cancer diagnosis.
5.  I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear your theory. - This one is pretty self-explanatory!  

That's just a sample, the book is full of helpful information.  You can buy it on or at your local Barnes & Noble.  Go buy it today!


  1. We love you and continue to pray for you! Brad and Tracee

  2. So..which category does my story about the Dr.90210 episode where the film star was having a certain part of her body bleached fall into; 1)wrong thing to say, 2)horror story, 3)make you laugh,or 4) bad advice? lol

    Love ya Mindy

  3. I've wondered about that... what are some wrong things to say.. I know that some things are okay to say that are awkward or 'wrong' yet okay but, what are some things you have experienced that have just shocked you that anyone would say such a thing.. What are horror stories that perhaps have been told to you with good intentions but have been ... horror / acid to your spirit?


  4. Is it appropriate to say I want to BEAT UP BOB REALLY BAD!!!!????

    You say the word, and I will be glad to take care of God's backup of course because we all know he's got this!!!

    Love ya!