So I spend most of my days resting, trying to do the right thing. Preserving my energy so that my body can use it to fight this disease. Here is what my typical day looks like:
Wake up. Sit on the couch. Read my Bible. Pray. Eat breakfast. Wait 30 minutes. Take my chemo pills. Wish I didn't have cancer. Sit on the couch. Rest. Read. Think. Wish I didn't have cancer. Lay on the couch. Rest. Check email. Wish I didn't have cancer. Move to the other couch. Sit. Rest. Read. Wait. Wish I didn't have cancer. 1:30 - drive to radiation. Really wish I didn't have cancer. Come home, exhausted. Sleep on the couch. Eat dinner. Wait 30 minutes. Take my chemo pills. Wish I didn't have cancer. Lay on the couch. Rest. Watch TV. Wish I didn't have cancer. Go to bed.
Of course, interspersed in there are many trips to the bathroom dealing with the effects of cancer and cancer treatment; and 1000 classes of water.
I think I'll get rid of that couch when I'm well. I won't want to see it anymore.
So, today, I decide I'm not going to be a sick person. I am going to take our dog, Biscuit, to the groomer. It's his 13th birthday! And I'll run a couple of errands while I'm out, and pick up a few things at the grocery story. Surely I am not too fatigued to do that, right?
My stomach has been cramping all morning, but I load Biscuit and the dry cleaning into the car and head out. I park in front of PetSmart and get out of the car. By the time I walk around the car to get the dog out my stomach lets me know this was not a good idea. I jump back in the car and race over to Chik-fil-a. I crack the windows, jump out of the car, praying for the dog as I leave him in the Houston heat, and run into Chik-fil-a, straight to the restrooms. Thankfully, there is no one in there. Maybe I should have stayed home on the couch.
The dog survived the heat and we make it to PetSmart. Next on the list, the cleaners. I go to pick up a couple of things I had cleaned and the guy can't find one of them. How do you misplace a comforter?? I am waiting in the cleaners feeling like I am going to pass out. I really just want to lie down on the floor at the cleaners. Thankfully there is a chair so I sit and wait.
Unfortunately, there is a mirror on the wall. I am one of those people who naturally has dark circles under my eyes always. Combined with my lack of sleep last night, I realize that I look pretty bad. I look like your neighborhood zombie out running errands! I can hear it now, "Don't worry kids, it's not really a zombie. That's just our pastor's wife."
Finally he finds my comforter and I go to put everything in the car. Of course, with a big comforter it is awkward and I end up dropping my purse, upside down, in the parking lot. Everything falls out of the purse, including my emergency supply of baby wipes, and begins to roll across the parking lot. By this point, I am laughing, my stomach is cramping again, and I realize that cancer can be funny. I gather everything up, leaving the coins on the ground for some little kid to find, and head to the grocery store. I know where the bathroom is in Kroger.
I arrive home, only an hour and a half after I left and I'm so thankful to see that couch! And guess what's waiting for me? Mindy brought me homemade chicken noodle soup! She'll never know how much I needed that at that exact moment. God is still here, and He is still good! I think I"ll rest on the couch for a while.
In other news...
My son, David, and his wife, Sydneyann, are in England. David had his final reading at Oxford University where he is working on his master's degree. He said it went really well and he received a couple of offers to do more writing! He is presenting a seminar on the poetry of Victor de la Cruz from Oaxaca, Mexico, in London today. David is an amazing Poet. You can check out his work in the April 2009 edition of Poetry Magazine, the premier poetry journal in the U.S. (Do you detect a hint of mother's pride?)
Thank you to those of you who were praying for our group that traveled to Burundi, Africa. They had an amazing time and all made it home safely. If you want to hear all about it, don't miss the weekend services at COF on July 11/12!
Today is Biscuit's 13th Birthday! He's the best dog in the world!
"Praise the Lord, all you nations. Praise him, all you people of the earth. For he loves us with unfailing love; the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 117 - Love that Psalm!