Radiation Recovery Update:
Thursday: feeling tired + emotionally spent = rest on the couch, again
Friday: little fatigue + calm stomach = got my nails done!
Yesterday I went online to read about long term side effects of radiation. None of them are positive things, but nothing I read was new information for me. The thing that struck me again as I was reading was the fact that I have advanced rectal cancer.
I have ADVANCED rectal cancer. I have ADVANCED rectal cancer. I say it three times out loud. I am trying to get it through to my brain. This is the true situation for now. But my brain rejects it every time. “I feel fine,” my brain says, “I don’t even look sick. This can’t be true”
Then for a split second the reality comes through. For a brief two minutes I totally come unglued. I scare the dog. Thankfully no one else is at home.
Then God whispers, “I’m still here.” And He wraps His peace around me one more time.
Later I check my friend Jack’s blog and this is what I read: “God wins. Every time. There is nothing beyond His knowledge or His understanding or His resources.” Thanks, Jack!
God wins. Every time!
My fervent prayer for you is that you will have peace that passes understanding and nothing less.
ReplyDeleteLike you say...you have advanced rectal cancer but you feel fine. That is amazing in its own right.
Thats because you are God's child and He has your hand. He is pulling you through it.You may stop and stomp your feet, scare the dog and be kicking and screaming at times but, He's pulling you through .... He's got you, He has your hand in His.
Expect the this walk, this trial to be filled with miracles, amazement, awe and wonder at how your God will bring you through. Its a storm but your covered. Keep going, hang on... your are going to get through this and you will get through it in awe of God. Absolutely 100%.
Laura, we are human. If we were not in human form, we'd be with God in heaven. Part of being human, is to 'feel'. Feeling is not only a physical thing like when we prick our finger. Feeling is an emotional reaction to the thoughts in our minds. When our thoughts are about (ADVANCED) cancer, the feelings of fear and anger are conjured up. It's NATURAL to have these feelings when dealing with the things that are going on in your life. But...thank God...He is with you through this. What's going on in you and your life is not a surprise to God. He's got you under His wings, in the palm of His hand...He's got your back...He has you surrounded. Whatever you are facing, you are not alone. You have Him with you and in you which is enough. But you also have your family, your friends, and an unbelievable number of prayer warriors with you also. Don't look back, don't look foward or from side to side. Just keep looking up and keep believing in His promises! Hugs, Jeanne
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI think it's amazing how God is using this for HIS good! How he takes the terrible things in our life and He causes someone else to fall in love with Him and His goodness because of the pain that you are going through and the way that you are responding to your pain. I shared my blogspot with you before. Someone from your church began to follow me because I found you by accident. Her name is Lanie and today I got a bunch of CD's from your church in the mail from her. I made a friend all the way in Texas because I too have decided to allow God to turn a tragedy in my life into something for His good! Keep going girl! You have a redheaded lady in Richmond Virginia praying you through and watching you inspire others through your storm. I think I'm gonna have to plan a little trip to Houston. I have a friend there and would love to come visit. Anyway.. You are VERY loved and I am sooo inspired by you girl!