There are a lot of things that I am not allowed to have during my treatment for cancer. I am already making a list of all the things I will eat and drink and do when I am well. But of all the things that are lost to me right now, the one thing I miss the most is my BRAIN! I feel like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, "If I only had a brain..."
It's crazy what stress can do to you. I can't remember anything. I put things down and can't find them again. I can't remember which emails I have responded to and which one's I haven't, or if I have written a thank you note for a particular gift or not. If you haven't received a thank you note, it's not because I didn't appreciate your thoughtfulness, it's because I am missing my brian! Please forgive me!
At times, I really feel like I am a little kid, unable to think or process information, totally dependent on Mark, or the doctors to lead me along. I see and feel it happening, but I'm unable to do anything about it. Hopefully, before too long, I'll be able to welcome my brain back to the real world and life will go on as before. Until then, please bear with me.
In my last post, one of the things I was thankful for was that I hadn't developed Hand Foot Syndrome. I spoke one day too soon...
I woke up Friday morning, hopped out of bed, and my feet felt like they were burning! What a pleasant side effect! Sometimes with certain chemo drugs, mine being one of them, the medication leaks out of the capillaries into the surrounding tissues causing inflammation of the tissues and irritation of the nerves. This usually happens in the palms of the hands and/or the bottom of the feet, thus the name Hand Foot Syndrome. Every week when I go to the oncologist they ask about my hands and feet and look at them. I hadn't had any problems until Friday. I only have four more days of chemotherapy for now, so hopefully I will be able to finish my medication in spite of this new side effect. Please pray that it will not get worse and that I will be able to complete my medication next week.
If you see me at church this weekend with slippers on and my feet propped up, or limping around the lobby, you'll know why!
Thank you to all of you who were praying for my family as they traveled this summer. The weary travelers have arrived safely home!