I wake up not feeling well - tired, limping on sore feet. I know I need to eat, but nothing sounds good. And then the weight of the reality of cancer hits again. The tears start to flow and I can't seem to turn them off. I'm exhausted mentally, physically, spiritually. I want to go back to bed and start over again tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel better then.
The staff at the radiation center are amazing. And Nurse Rita always seems to know. I was walking out after my treatment today and she calls out to me, "Can I give you a hug?" She asks how I'm doing, and I start to cry. "I'm so emotional today," I tell her. "You know fatigue can do that to you." And then, as I'm leaving, she says, "We all love you." And I know that God is still here.
Later, I am taking a much needed nap and the door bell rings. It is a delivery from a sweet friend. Mark brings the bag to me and I pull out a big teddy bear - the "Prayer Bear". The bear actually talks and one of the things it says is, "Sometimes the winds on your face are the kisses of God." And I know that He is still here.
Thank you, God, that you always know exactly what I need and when I need it! Thank you, Rita and Anita, for letting God use you!
"All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction... Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the Path of Life." (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)
"If I have asked you to step on and up firmly - then surely have I secured your ladder." (God Calling, edited by A.J. Russell)
"Never forget your promises to me your servant, for they are my only hope." Psalm 119:49