I have been feeling really good lately in every way - physically, emotionally, spiritually - and that feels good! But every few days, at the most unexpected times, I have a mini meltdown. Unusual things will bring up grief and a longing for how things used to be. For all these months I have been hoping to "get my life back" and now I am discovering that that's not going to happen exactly. Yes, I will get my usual routines back, but they won't be the same anymore. Everything has changed. At times it feels like I am falling without a net, not sure where I will end up, and not sure how to stop the fall. Little things occasionally still overwhelm me. And so goes recovery from cancer. Moment by moment, day by day, seeking and trusting God to provide answers, direction, encouragement, and comfort.
I have been reading the book "When Everything Changes Change Everything" by Neale Donald Walsh. He defines change as "the shifting of any circumstance, situation, or condition, physical or nonphysical, in such a way that the original is rendered not merely different from what it was, but altered so radically as to make it utterly unrecognizable and impossible to return to anything resembling its former state."
Mr. Walsh states in his book that "Life is change." His point is that everything changes. Life is a series of changes. Moment by moment, day by day. When nothing is changing, there is nothing that is living.
I like that thought. Change = Life. So I will choose to to live.