May 27, 2010

I wake up today to praise music playing in my head. It's May 27th, 2010. One year from my cancer diagnosis. I immediately begin to pray, thanking God for this one year, thanking him for all he's taught me, and thanking him for allowing me to know him. 


I go jogging with Sarah today - because I can - and just to show cancer who is boss! I don't get very far, but I think I got my point across! 


I eat lunch at Escalante's with some of my family, thankful to have this day with them. Thankful for their love and support over the past year. 


Nothing can take my joy away today! I am alive and I am healthy! 

A year ago today I was laying on a stretcher, having a colonoscopy for what I thought was hemorrhoids. Wow! What a difference a day can make! I woke up from anesthesia to find myself on a new path. A journey that I thought would be frightening and horrible, a journey that I didn't choose, and didn't want to be on. But it has turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life! 

I have met the kindest, most compassionate people ever. I have seen the goodness of God's people around the world. I have seen actual miracles take place! I have developed deeper relationships with my family. I have found the peace of God's presence. I have learned that when I am weak, He is strong, every time. I have discovered the freedom of giving up control. I know the joy of trust. I have no doubts about God - who He is or His word. My fears have been replaced with knowledge that whatever comes my way will be OK. The intimacy I have with my savior is something I would never trade - not even for good health, as awesome as that is! 

Thank you, God, for one year. Thank you for where we've been and what you have been teaching me. Thank you for allowing me to know you like this, for knowing that I am safe in your arms, that you are totally and completely trustworthy. Thank you for showing me how strong I am and that we can do anything together. Thank you for all the new friends I have made along the way. Thank you for time alone together on the couch to pray! Thank you for teaching me to control my thinking and the power of my thoughts. Thank you for never leaving me, for walking with me every step of the way - every run to the bathroom, every tear-filled night, every screaming melt down, every doubt, every angry outburst, every ride on a stretcher, every retch of my stomach. Thank you for calming every fear, for holding me. 

There aren't enough words, so I'll stop here. Thank you for this year. I love you so much. Help me always to remember. Help me be as faithful as you are.

I know so many who never got to celebrate one year. Please wrap their families in your arms today.

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10