I had a conversation with God yesterday about the fact that I really want to be able to have my chemotherapy treatment this week. I am so ready to be finished and to begin to regain my strength and my life. And then he reminded me that He is in control of my chemotherapy schedule.
It was such a stark reminder because each time it seems to be controlled by lab results and the oncologist's decision. I've been looking at it wrong again. God is in control. Always has been. Even the weeks when treatment has been postponed. He is doing what is best for me. How easily I start to look at this world around me and forget that I am the daughter of the King of the universe.
Again, Lord, I choose to trust you. I commit myself to you. I commit my treatment schedule to you. Thank you for doing what is best for me. And thank you for the gentle reminder of your faithfulness.
"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
"I will not forget you. See, I have written your name on my hand."
Did you read what that says? "I will not forget you." GOD will not forget me! The Holy God, creator of the universe, omnipotent, all powerful, all loving, King of Kings and Lord of Lords will not forget ME!! And He will not forget YOU! Let that sink in.
Medical update: I am still enjoying diarrhea and gas. Taking Lomotil around the clock. Otherwise I feel fine - no pain, no fever. We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow! Thanks for praying!