Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Top 10 Rules to Live By When You Have a Short Rectum

God is always faithful to encourage me through my friends. He has used many of you to be the hands and feet and hugs of Jesus to me. Just yesterday Teri delivered fresh corn bread to my front door. Today, Kathy "surprised" me with a giant package of Charmin toilet paper! And then I received the following from a new friend, Darla, who has walked this path before me. Enjoy!

Top 10 Rules to Live by When You Have a Short Rectum
1. Always wear underwear.
2. Know where your nearest bathroom is at all times. In Times Square, it is at the McDonald's.
3. Keep lots of reading materials and a digital Yahtzee game in your "new office".
4. If you don't have reading materials readily available, don't stop on the way to the "office" to get them. Get them during a lull in your "work".
5. A hot shower does wonders for your state of mind.
6. When you've been at "work" too long, a warm/hot heated rice bag that smells like chamomile on your rump is very relaxing and takes the edge off.
7. Spending time in your "office" with God is sometimes the only place He can get you still. Just talk to Him and discover what a blessing it is.
8. Don't wear white pants unless you are having a really good day and your haven't eaten anything!
9. Make some phone calls from the office. No one has to know that your colon is under construction - especially the PET scan receptionist or the insurance representative.
10. Last but not least..... God is in control, even when you are not, literally!

Thank you for being good friends to me! Today has been a much better day!


  1. That is great!! I think some of those rules should apply to everyone, like the ones about wearing underwear and white pants~and doing those two things together is very tricky anyway!
    What a joy to know that the Lord is going use your transparency to encourage another that is "walking" or will walk this road.
    Love you.