For the faint of heart, please skip today's post and just know I need your continued prayers for my intestines who have been called back into service after an eight month rest. Check back tomorrow. For those who don't mind the gory details, read on.
Tuesday, not so good. Well, honestly, most of the day was good. My bowel system is going from one extreme to the other, which is apparently a normal development following the type of surgery I've had. It also goes from relatively "normal" days to days of sheer panic to get to the bathroom. Also a very typical response for this type of surgery. It makes it a little hard to plan anything or go anywhere because I never know when or how the nightmare will begin.
And by nightmare, I mean nightmare. Tuesday was going relatively well - one round of bathroom marathon in the afternoon. Then around 6:00 Tuesday evening it started all over again. I spent three hours in and out of the bathroom every 5-10 minutes. Literally. Three hours. I never understood the reason to have a bidet in the bathroom, but now I do. I so wished I had one last night. A garden hose would have been acceptable at that point. My plan is to strangle the surgeon when I go see him on Friday. I know it's not his fault, but it feels good to have someone to blame! : )
By 8:00 pm I am in tears thinking about the fact that I can't take any medication to stop this, and I think to myself, "My bowels will be the death of me." That thought struck me to the core, realizing the fact that my bowels may very well be the cause of my death one day. I crumble to the bathroom floor in a heap, sobbing in anger, fear, and grief.
Then I remember that I am a warrior. I struggle back to my feet shouting, "No! No! No! No!" I will not let my enemy get the best of me tonight. Then God softly whispers, "I am here. You can do this. There is no death for you - only life. I've already paid the price. I have given you life. You have life."
He's always here when I need him. He never leaves. He even hangs out in my bathroom!
"...even the darkness will not be dark to you;" Psalm 139:12