Sunday, April 11, 2010

Be at rest once more

I was reading my Bible Tuesday morning before going to the hospital and God spoke to me these words:

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, 
for the LORD has been good to you." 
Psalm 116:7

Sweet words to encourage me as I went to have my final surgery! 

I have been trying to hold on to those words through this recovery. This recovery has been hard for me physically and emotionally. I've had very little pain at the surgical site, but the loss of bowel control has taken its toll! It's just not a problem you ever want to experience - the words "embarrassing" and "humiliating" come to mind.

Saturday evening was full of tears. I am still coming to grips with the idea that things will never be exactly the same again. I will always be a cancer survivor. I will always experience the long-term side effects of radiation and surgery. I've been told that, and I know it intellectually, but I am just beginning to process it emotionally.

Today, with every step I feel the irritated nerves in my feet. Only God knows how long that will last. With every use of my hands I am made aware of the numbness of my fingertips. Will it ever go away? Every look in the mirror I see a stooped, tired little girl. 

Then God steps in...

  • I read these words in "Jesus Calling": "Trust me in every detail of your life... Having sacrificed My very life for you, I can be trusted in every facet of your life."
  • I remember that I actually slept through the night Saturday night! That is definitely progress!
  • I receive a note from a sweet friend reminding me that I am a warrior.
  • I have the joy of watching Community of Faith's service live on the internet!
  • I find a website with encouraging information about recovery from ileostomy reversal surgery. It seems my bowels are right on track! I actually feel somewhat more in control today.
  • Phone calls, messages, and texts from friends and family come throughout the day reminding me of their love and prayers. 
  • Mark and I walk 1.3 miles around the lake behind our house. It took me a while, but I made it! It was so nice to enjoy the sunset, the flowers, the breeze, the ducks, and time with my husband!
  • And then this...

Dinner brought by sweet friends, Erica, Brooke, and Brea. Those beautiful faces would make anyone feel better!

The Lord has indeed been good to me! He gave me this day full of His blessings! I will rest once more.


  1. I am super impressed you walked 1.3 miles around the lake! Thats wonderful! And such wonderful friends you have !!!

    There may be reminders, battle wounds that will always share a story of this past year but once this door is shut and you move on...those scars will always not just be an actual physical reminder, but a reminder to you of how much you have Gone through and how God got your through it.

    Be joyful, your almost in the clear!!!!

  2. Oh, how blessed I am that we could pour out a little of the Father's love on you during this season! My eyes are filled with tears, because one of my main goals as a mom is to teach my girls how to love on others. You encouraged me, even more than we might have encouraged you!
    I am praying for complete are joy and a blessing~a true inspiration to so many as we watch the Lord's glory shine forth through you!
    By the way, 1.3 miles is AWESOME!!