I will have a PET scan two weeks after my last chemo treatment. I will have surgery to close the ileostomy six weeks after my last chemo treatment. Then going forward I will have a PET scan or CT scan (depending on what the insurance company will approve) every three months the first year following treatment, every four months the second year, every six months the third year, and then if everything looks good I will have one annually after that. Of course there will be annual colonoscopies thrown in just for fun! So, I am still going to be pretty close to my oncologist and his staff!
The reason for so many scans is so that we will catch any recurrence early if it happens. That is a good thing. But it also messes with my mind a little...
I truly believe that God has healed me of cancer. I truly believe that I will grow old with Mark. But I wonder how I will deal with the thoughts and emotions related to frequent visits to the oncologist's office. How will I move forward with so many reminders of cancer? I don't really feel afraid of recurrence, but I feel afraid of feeling afraid! LOL!
So, I go back to what I know and the habits I have been practicing during these last nine months:
- Choose to take every thought captive to Christ
- Choose to recognize His presence here with me
- Choose to recognize His sovereignty over my life
- Choose to trust in His plans
- Choose to leave my burdens with Him and take up His peace
- Chose to release control to the One who knows my future
- Choose to bathe my mind with His Words
- Choose to believe that He is good
- Choose to believe in His faithfulness
- Choose to praise Him
Daily choices form daily habits. I'm glad He is helping me to make those choices!