The most interesting thing has happened to me.
Although the last seven months have been some of the hardest months to live through for me, I have also experienced the most constant joy that I have ever experienced in my life. It seems like such a contradiction to have received a life-threatening diagnosis and yet to find constant joy in the midst of it all. I've shared with you before that I am not naturally a positive person; I tend to be melancholy and to see the negative side of things. But it's as if that has all disappeared in the last seven months and been replaced by a deep joy that bubbles up from inside of me every day. Not at all what I would have expected as a side effect of cancer!
I read this statement recently from Sarah Young in her book Jesus Calling:
"During times of severe testing, even the best theology can fail you if it isn't accompanied by experiential knowledge of Me. The ultimate protection against sinking during life's storms is devoting time to develop your friendship with Me."
I think this is the source of the joy. In the last seven months I have come to know my creator more deeply than ever before. And I have let Him know me. I have talked to him, argued with him, cried to him, rested in his arms, waited for him, trusted him, and followed him blindly. As our intimacy with each other has grown, my awareness and understanding of His deep love for me has washed over everything. It has covered everything, and colored everything. Knowing what I now know, I don't think it is possible to experience a day without joy.
One of my favorite things about the Christmas season is singing Christmas carols. I have them playing constantly in the house, and I love singing them at church. Today we sang an old standard, "Joy to the World". Chris Tomlin has added a new refrain to this carol and I was so happy to sing it out today!