Sunday, October 11, 2009

Our Hope

When I was first diagnosed with cancer I found myself having very vivid dreams at night as my brain was processing all the information being thrown at it so suddenly. In the last few days, those vivid dreams are back; or at least I am aware of them right now. For several nights in a row I have dreamed that I am preparing my family for my death in some way. I guess my brain is now beginning to process some of the fears I've felt along the way. It is weird to wake up and start the day after dreaming of your impending death! 

In one of the more interesting dreams I was actually helping prepare a lady to go on a date with Mark! She wanted my advice on what to wear and what to talk about. I calmly gave her my advice and then sent them off on their date, as if I were their mother or something. And in one dream I kicked Mark in the stomach, I'm not sure why (maybe because he had gone on that date?), but I actually physically kicked my leg out while I was sleeping and woke myself up! We both had some good laughs about those two dreams!

Death is not a subject that most of us like to talk about. When we lived in Mexico City people spoke more often and more openly about the subject. They actually take the first few days of November to remember and celebrate the lives of their loved ones who have been lost. In some weird way it seems to make death seem a little less scary. 

Saturday morning death became very real. We received the news that a very dear friend had been killed in a car accident on Friday night. David Edwards and his wife, Lyndy, were some of our best friends when we were newly married. Mark and David attended seminary together, we enjoyed lots of fun times together as young couples and new parents. David was our Sunday School teacher, they were at the hospital when our son was born, they prayed for us and sent us off as we went to our first full-time ministry position. David went on to earn his doctorate and to pastor several churches across Texas. He was currently the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Corsicana, Texas. He has impacted so many lives here and around the world. David and Lyndy have three children, Kate, Emily and Evan. David will be deeply missed by everyone who knew and loved him.  

As I was crying for Lyndy on Saturday and thinking about the loss of David, I suddenly felt very happy - happy that David was ready. He knew who his Savior was and he was ready at any moment to meet Him face to face. I felt happy that Lyndy has hope and comfort in knowing without a doubt that she and her children will see David again one day. And I felt so thankful that my husband and my children are ready. We all hope and plan to live long, productive lives; but should God's plans be different, we are ready. 

The song, "He Is", by Mark Schultz brings some comfort to me. Here are part of the lyrics:

Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Through every fear, and every doubt, and every tear I shed, 

down every road, I’m not alone no matter where I am 

He is, He was, and He always will be
He lives, He loves, He’s always with me
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul, be still, and know
Be still, my soul
He is

Thank you, Lord, for the chance to know David Edwards. Thank you that you will walk with Lyndy, their children, their extended families, and their church through these difficult days.

"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, 'Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.' And the one sitting on the throne said, 'Look, I am making everything new!' And then he said to me, 'Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.'” Revelation 21:3-5

This is our hope. Be ready.


  1. Oh my sweet Laura, what to say to encourage you? I guess you already said it, you and your family are ready. Pray for my family, Trey, York and Roxanne. They are not ready. I love you my sweet friend. Marilyn Lewis

  2. Reminds me of those dreams we get when we are pregnant...those vivid ones that bring out some of our fears but they never come true. Well, atleast not for me, I never gave birth to an alien. :)

    I'm sorry about David Edwards, sorry for his wife and those left to rebuild the sudden loss and the intense grief the family will have. Life on earth is fragile, fleeting and fast.

    And it is so true... people do not like to talk about death. Its like if we talk about it we fear we are giving a quarter to the devil or something.

    When I think about dying... because it can happen at anytime to anyone.... sadly...the first thing that comes to mind is that my house is messy in places. Its like all the sudden I feel like I need to hurry and go clean something just in case I don't make it through that day but because we usually don't ponder on such things for long and don't think it would really happen... well, then my house stays messy in places.

  3. this is an awesome post.....God bless you Laura

  4. Lonnie and I are READY! But I don't think he wants me yet. I've almost died 3 times now and I have realized HE is NOT finished with me yet here on this earth. I better get to work when He tell me ALL what I need to do. :)
    ALL my love to you Sweet Laura.
    My 22nd surgery is tomorrow morning, please say alittle prayer for me. XOXO