My Hiding Place

If you have been following this blog then you know that my body has been struggling to produce new white blood cells. As of last Tuesday, they were practically non-existent, and the doctor told me that I need to be very careful. Right now I have very little ability to fight off infection. I was told to stay away from people, to stay out of crowds, to be careful of eating raw fruits or vegetables, and to wash my hands - a lot!


I have been very careful to follow their advice and so far I am doing well. The only catch is that Mark and I had already planned to start our new relationship series at the church this weekend and we were planning to speak together. What was it the doctor said about people and crowds??? So, in order to avoid all hugging, hand-shaking, coughing, sneezing, and germ-infected children, I entered the building through the back door, went straight to Mark's office without talking or touching anyone, and sat alone, waiting, until the time came in the services for the message to be shared. Then I entered the stage from the back, Mark and I shared what God had given us to share, and I left the same way I'd come in. It feels really weird not to be hugging anyone and not to be able to see and talk to everyone. Hopefully this issue will be resolved soon and I will be back out there with the people!


In spite of the fact that I was alone, I had the most amazing experience in worship today! The band started playing the song "I Will Exalt You" by Hillsong and I stepped through the door at the back of the stage waiting to join Mark on stage for the message. Standing in that spot it feels kind of like you are in a closet. It's about the size of a closet. The walls are black and it was dark. The music coming through the monitors on the stage was bouncing off the back of the stage and made for an incredible decibel level where I was waiting. Then I started listening to the words of the song, and I started singing out to my God. 


I will exalt You 

I will exalt You 

I will exalt You 

You are my God 

And God whispered in my ear, "I'm right here with you." Instantly I felt His presence surround me. 


I started thinking about being at home these last couple of weeks in a form of quarantine, and then we sang these words:


My hiding place 

My safe refuge 


My treasure Lord You are 


And it hit me that He IS my safe refuge, He has been protecting me as my blood counts have been so low. He has been my hiding place these weeks. I continued to sing, 

My friend and King 

Anointed One 

Most Holy. 



As I was praising Him, proclaiming His Holiness, I said to him, "You are everything to me." 

And then I heard God whisper back, "YOU are everything to me." 

In that instant I understood like never before that I am his daughter, that I am everything to him, just like my children are to me. Tears clouded my eyes, and unspeakable joy filled my heart and I shouted out to him,

I will exalt You 


I will exalt You 


I will exalt You 


You are my God  

And then we sang the last verse:

Because You're with me


Because You're with me


Because You're with me


I will not fear

What a timely reminder to me during these days! He will be with me, just like He was today. He is my refuge. He is my hiding place. He is Holy and worthy of my praise. I am His.

I hope you get time alone with God this week so that you can worship Him and experience His presence.

Medical Update: I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday morning to re-check my blood levels. We are praying that they will be up to a level that will allow me to receive my next chemo treatment. I'll let you know what happens.

Prayer Update: Many of you have been praying for my friend, Debbie, and her husband, Jack. Debbie is a breast cancer survivor, but during her battle with cancer last year her husband lost his job. They have been diligently seeking jobs since that time, struggling to trust that God is in control, and grieved as they have watched their home edge closer to foreclosure. Well...Debbie called me on Saturday to tell me that Jack finally has a new job! After a series of interviews over the course of several weeks, he finally receive the job offer they were praying for! Thank you for praying for employment for Jack! They will meet with a financial counselor this week to discuss the possibility of reworking their mortgage and hopefully be able to save their house. Please thank God for providing Jack's new job and pray that God will work out the details of their mortgage and that they won't lose their home. Thank you!