Hair today... gone tomorrow?

Before we started IV chemotherapy the oncologist told me that he didn't expect me to lose my hair. Good, I thought, because I didn't really want to lose my hair. I think if I had no hair I would look like a mouse or a bird...  


Then the oncologist said, "Your hair may thin some." OK, that was the understatement of the year! My hair is coming out all over the place! I am constantly plucking long blonde hairs off of my arms and shoulders. They are all over the couch, of course, and they cover the seat in Mark's car. Every time I wash my hair, or brush my hair, or run my hands through my hair, I come away with handfuls of hair. The last time I spoke at COF I happened to glance down at the stage and saw long blond hairs on the black carpet surrounding my stool. (I'd like to clarify that "stool" in this instance refers to a piece of furniture that you sit on. I know with my diagnosis and the frequent topics of my life that it could have been misinterpreted as another form of "stool".) My hair is everywhere! I guess I have more than I thought I had because I still have a good bit on my head, but if it keeps up like this, I may not have it for long! 


I have always had long blonde hair. It is a part of me. I'm not sure what I'd do without it. I'm not sure how I feel about wearing a wig, but it could actually be fun to shop for hats! And since it will be the fall/winter season hats would be OK. I doubt it will come to that, but I do know that over the next few months my hair will continue to grow thinner, my roots will continue to grow out, and my gray hairs will start to show themselves. Please be kind to me when you see this happening! It's not that I haven't gone to get my hair touched up, it's just that I can't. Not until I am finished with chemo treatments. In the meantime I will try to keep my chin up, smile, and endure with dull, dry, brittle, thin, two-tone graying hair!


I can only remember cutting my hair off two times in my life. One was before my senior year of high school. Just in time for my senior portrait. What a horrible time to decide to cut your hair off! What was I thinking? I survived, but I cried for days! The second time was when I was newly married and in nursing school. I decided to cut it myself (I'm not kidding!) and I put my long hair in a pony tail on top of my head and I cut it off! Seriously, I did this! Someone probably should have had me psychologically examined at that time! It did not turn out pretty. There have been the random times of layers and bangs and perms. I did finally learn that if God gave you straight hair, He knew best - don't perm it! Those perm days are some scary family photos! 


So, these are the thoughts I am processing today. Just keeping you in the loop! We'll see what happens...