Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hair today... gone tomorrow?

Before we started IV chemotherapy the oncologist told me that he didn't expect me to lose my hair. Good, I thought, because I didn't really want to lose my hair. I think if I had no hair I would look like a mouse or a bird...  

Then the oncologist said, "Your hair may thin some." OK, that was the understatement of the year! My hair is coming out all over the place! I am constantly plucking long blonde hairs off of my arms and shoulders. They are all over the couch, of course, and they cover the seat in Mark's car. Every time I wash my hair, or brush my hair, or run my hands through my hair, I come away with handfuls of hair. The last time I spoke at COF I happened to glance down at the stage and saw long blond hairs on the black carpet surrounding my stool. (I'd like to clarify that "stool" in this instance refers to a piece of furniture that you sit on. I know with my diagnosis and the frequent topics of my life that it could have been misinterpreted as another form of "stool".) My hair is everywhere! I guess I have more than I thought I had because I still have a good bit on my head, but if it keeps up like this, I may not have it for long! 

I have always had long blonde hair. It is a part of me. I'm not sure what I'd do without it. I'm not sure how I feel about wearing a wig, but it could actually be fun to shop for hats! And since it will be the fall/winter season hats would be OK. I doubt it will come to that, but I do know that over the next few months my hair will continue to grow thinner, my roots will continue to grow out, and my gray hairs will start to show themselves. Please be kind to me when you see this happening! It's not that I haven't gone to get my hair touched up, it's just that I can't. Not until I am finished with chemo treatments. In the meantime I will try to keep my chin up, smile, and endure with dull, dry, brittle, thin, two-tone graying hair!

I can only remember cutting my hair off two times in my life. One was before my senior year of high school. Just in time for my senior portrait. What a horrible time to decide to cut your hair off! What was I thinking? I survived, but I cried for days! The second time was when I was newly married and in nursing school. I decided to cut it myself (I'm not kidding!) and I put my long hair in a pony tail on top of my head and I cut it off! Seriously, I did this! Someone probably should have had me psychologically examined at that time! It did not turn out pretty. There have been the random times of layers and bangs and perms. I did finally learn that if God gave you straight hair, He knew best - don't perm it! Those perm days are some scary family photos! 

So, these are the thoughts I am processing today. Just keeping you in the loop! We'll see what happens...


  1. I think your amazingly beautiful face dominates your head so I don't think anyone will even notice.

  2. One of my best friends Pam, lost her hair this last year, as she has went through her breast cancer treatments. She got this really cool, young looking wig and she really looks "hot". She is also a nurse (neonatology). Anyway, it was stressing her out to lose her hair, so she just decided to have her husband shave her head and now wears her new hair. It sounds crazy, but her new wig actually makes her look younger and God has given her this fun new look that has been a suprise to her in the midst of going through cancer. It does not sound like you will lose your hair though, so it is a different situation. I will pray that you don't lose your hair. I love how you keep clinging to God and sharing His truth! You are such warrior! I do agree, that your face is amazingly beautiful-"model pretty" really. I continue to pray for you!!

  3. Ok girl...it's hat shopping for us! I want to see those pictures!! You are beautiful no matter what because your beauty is apparent on the inside...I never see your gray hair!!! Love you and your thinning hairs!

  4. Hello, Laura,
    This is Laura, your neighbor across the street. I have been thinking about you and praying that God's healing hands are holding yours throughout this difficult time. If there is anything you need, please let me know. I can clean, do laundry, and run errands! I'll e-mail you my phone number. I would like to bring over dinner one night as well. Let me know of a night that is good for you. My e-mail is laura.skeen@gmail.com. I am right across the street so if there anything you need just call me! I would love to help out!
    Take care, Laura

  5. Laura, you are so funny and reading your blogs always make me laugh and helps me keep the right perspective when life stinks!! I also care about you and know that hair or no hair you are a beautiful and amazing woman!

  6. I agree with everyone else,you are beautiful no matter what.I lost all my hair with chemo & really it wasn't so bad.I love to shop,so that just gave me an excuse to shop...for hair,but it was shopping.I also had long blond hair and never had it cut..I guess it was time for a change,LoL.
    Love you Laura,This too shall pass.If you ever need to talk,cry or just have someone that understands,give me a call.Your always in my prayers.

  7. Hi Laura: A young lady who is battling cancer lost her hair during chemo and her motto is, "It's not about the hair, it's about the heart". That may be tough to remember at times like this, but surely God is quite pleased with your faithful heart. :)

    Lynne Piper

  8. Dear Laura,
    I just have this feeling that you won't have to worry about your hair all falling out:) There was no question that I was going to loose mine with the type of chemo that I had. So, being the control freak that I am, I shaved it all off before I started shedding... smooth as a baby's bottom. No wigs for me, too hot and itchy. Lots of funky hats, hand painted scarves that my sister-in-law made for me and I even had my sister Sherry paint a temporary Henna tattoo all over my head!HAHA! Good excuse for shopping for new earrings too! Your thinning hair will come back thicker and curly maybe (mine did). The following is a little story that a lady name Barbara just shared with me (a Stage IV brain cancer survivor)
    There once was a woman who had three hairs on her head. She woke up in the morning and said "I think I will braid my hair today" The next morning she had two hairs on her head and she said "I will part my hair today" The next day she only had one hair on her head and she said "Hmmmm I think today I will wear my hair in a pony" The next day she woke up and she had no hair on her head and she said "Yipppeee I don't have to worry about my hair today!" Keep smiling my friend.

  9. I wanna go hat shopping with you! :)

  10. U are a beautiful person inside and out, hair or no hair, gray hair and all....I tell you what....I need to color my hair to but just dont have the extra moolah right now...So we can just go gray together....And I have so much hair that I would LOVE to give some to you!! Hope that makes you smile!! Love you and this too shall pass!!!

  11. Very funny on the "stool" talk!!! OH...and ditto to what everyone else has said here!! Hair or no hair...you are beautiful! Praying for you, Kim Raney and family