Saturday, May 30, 2009
Mark did a great job tonight sharing with COF all that is going on. I didn’t even really cry, just shook the whole time. Donald picked awesome praise music for me. Mom, Dad, and Cary were there. They told me that when Mark started reading my journal that Daddy laid his head on Momma’s shoulder weeping. I’m glad I didn’t see that, it would have been the end for me. Momma is strong…
I dropped a bowl with cat food in it tonight and I lost it – I’m mad at the pets, as if they’ve done something wrong…. I don’t want to be this person! I don’t want to be the person with cancer. I don’t want my plans to be messed up. Everything was going so well…Mark and I just spent the last week talking about our life and how everything was getting ready to change. We will have an empty nest. We were making plans for next steps at COF and our work around the world. Everything is on hold now and I’m angry at the cat.
My prayer for my life, my family’s life, and for COF at the beginning of the year was that we would all say, “I am yours, body and soul.” Like Mary, Jesus’ mother, said. I’ve been praying that for months. I even warned the women at the Ladies Christmas Dinner that I was praying it for them and to expect God to be working. Little did I know it would be my own life where I would see my faith challenged and stretched. You must have been smiling as I prayed, God, you knew.
Some sweet anonymous person bought our dinner at Chili’s tonight and left a note for me: “’Do not fear for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. ‘ Isaiah 43:1b This verse helps me. Love & God bless.” We have the most amazing people in our church!
I have to say I left service tonight just a little..what is the right word? ... (and I'm sure you have lots of those moments..what word descibes how I feel right now..there are lots!) I was feeling SO MUCH like you ARE a part of my family. Like LET ME CALL MY FRIENDS, FAMILY..COVER HER IN PRAYERS...I felt like reality hitting me right between the eyes! I have had some issues with cysts in my breasts for years. The last year they've gotten worse and I haven't taken the time to go to the doctor. I told my husband as we drove home on 290 tonight...I'm calling the doctors office on Monday. I saw Teri standing next to you during service, your arms hooked... what a sweet and precious sight that was....to have been blessed with such a friend...and a family. A BIG family, 6000+ The adoration your husband shows you...just so precious. I loved what Mark said tonight...God has a bigger purpose for everything...a plan ...that even thru challenge & pain there is a bigger picture...We just can't see it yet. I am amazed at how HE reveals that bigger picture little incriments at a time...You are a strong woman with gianormous faith...and LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE and support. I am very guilty of feeling like I can handle everything and don't need help...that is the biggest lie i tell myself..we can't do it all by ourselves...It's okay to ask for help..have a weak moment...just need a hug and a shoulder to cry on. You have that and more...Just say the word! Much love and prayers always...Donna H
ReplyDeleteLaurita... Te amo tanto.
ReplyDeleteOMG... Laura... I'm sooooo sorry and feel soooo stupid for not knowing.. I emailed Kim to find out what was going on but didn't want to feel "nosey".. Please know that you and your family are deep in mine and my girls prayers.. I know this will be a long tough journey for you, but you are strong and have the love and backing of an awesome family.
ReplyDeleteYou and the church have been there through thick and thin w/me and my families very "tough" times so please just know if you need anything, don't hesitate to let me know.. I'm sure you've heard that alot, but from one cancer survivor family to another, I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart.. please take care and keep the faith sister.. God Bless ;-)
Laura,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers will be with you. I am so sorry for your news. I know your faith will keep you strong. I have had you all praying for my family and my mom over the past couple of months as we have been going through the cancer "thing" too. I have truly felt your prayers and kept faith and gained strenght through them. I pray that for you and your family too.
With Love,
Vicki Seal
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. My dad has cancer. I pray for him and my mother daily. They are strong christian people so I know God is with them as he is with you Laura. We will continue to pray for you and your family daily.God Bless you.
ReplyDeleteIvan and Kimberly Bosley
Laura,
ReplyDeleteOur Prayers are with you and your entire family. You are such an amazing woman and truly a great example to all of us. Thank you for sharing your life with us to help us with our own faith. You are so strong and God will keep you close in His arms throughout this whole process. God Bless You.
Love,
Wayne (Jr.) and Wendy Schilleci
I am a new member of this Church it's only been my 3rd Sunday. I don't even know you haven't even shaken your hand. But everytime Rev Shook says a prayer a tear comes to my eye. And I get the best feeling inside.
ReplyDeleteWhen he read your blog this Sunday Tears where pouring out I was crying like a baby.
I Have never said Hello or even shaken your hand but in 3 Sundays I fell in Love your Family.
I will keep you in my prayers everyday. Keep that beautiful smile of yours.
Keep strong.
And Just like in your message today.
When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you." Isaiah 43:2
Love you and you don't even know me.
Vera.
Laura, please know that you are our prayers! I had colorectal cancer 4 years ago. When I read your blog I couldn't believe how similar our stories are. God will take good care of you as you go through this difficult time. You will come out of this stronger than you have ever been. I sent you an
ReplyDeletee-mail that tells you my story and my home and cell numbers. Please call if you need anything or just want to talk to someone that has been down the same path. Praying for you and your family.
Tammy Lamp
Laura,
ReplyDeleteJust a few weeks ago, Mark shared about your journey with "The Shred". I sat in my seat blessed, as the words you spoke, I had spoken just that morning to my husband. I related to you even though we had not yet met. This morning, I sat in my seat flooded with emotion as your blog was read. While I cannot begin to understand the wealth of emotions you are feeling, I can promise to walk this journey with you as well, through prayer. Your name has come to mind several times today and as it has, I have lifted you up. I anticipate the Lord to do even greater things than you ever imagined!
Erica
Dear Laura --
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to tell you that you, Mark, and the rest of your family have been in my thoughts all day today and I have lifted you all up to the Lord many times as well. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all as hard as it was I'm sure -- your honesty, courage and faith are such an inspiration. You are an amazing woman and I know God has His arms wrapped tightly around you. I want to share a scripture that offers a lot of comfort for me in times of need or when I'm afraid.
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Something Mark asked today in the early service was if we were being lone rangers -- it really hit home for me because that's exactly what I tend to be. There are a multitude of reasons why I'm like that, but no matter the reasons its something that I really need to work on. And by you sharing your story and me being able to see the outpouring of love and support for you and your family, it really made me want to change that. So thank you for that! And please know that if there is anything at all that I can possibly do for you I will be here for you. I love you and will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers! 1,000 hugs!
Diane McAndrew