Today I wake up at 5:30, starving after 3 days of a clear liquid diet, and these lyrics are playing in my head: “I don’t want to go through the motions, I don’t want to go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don’t want to spend my whole life thinking, what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions.”
Day 2 of cancer. Ashley’s last day of high school. The last time I’ll wake her up singing, “School days, school days, happy golden rule days!” The last time I’ll spend the quiet morning with her, making her breakfast and making sure she has what she needs for school. Life is strange. I guess God gave me something else to think about instead of dwelling on the fact that Ashley will be leaving for college soon and my whole life is changing - daily motherhood is over.
It’s a beautiful day outside. God sent a cool morning with a pretty sunrise. Thank you that you are here. Thank you for waking me up with music in my head. Thank you that you are the God of the universe and you are ruling on your eternal throne. Thank you that you are Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.
Today will be another fun day of colonoscopy with ultrasound. Lord, please be peace and strength for my husband, my children, and my parents.
I got an email yesterday from a friend of Ronda that said that God has trusted the Shook/Dunham family with this crisis. I like that.
Please don’t let my parents suffer the grief of losing a child.
I read this verse today: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
Email to staff and community group:
My dear sweet friends,
My guess is you have probably already heard this news, but just in case, I am sending you this email. I'm sorry to send this news to you in an email, but it is the fastest way to let you all know.
I had a colonoscopy yesterday for what I thought was probably just internal hemorrhoids... but the news was not that good. I have a rectal tumor that the doctor says is most likely cancer. The biopsy won't be back until Friday, but she was pretty certain that it is cancer. The good news is that after they found the tumor they did a CT scan to see if it had already spread to any other organs or the lymph nodes and they didn't find any evidence of the cancer anywhere else. I didn't know I could feel so happy about anything on the day I was told I had cancer, but that was pretty happy news!
This morning they are going to do another type of colonoscopy with ultrasound to determine how deep into the wall of the colon the tumor is. This will help determine the severity of the disease. From there, I guess we'll be going to visit a surgeon and oncologist next week.
Most of you are probably reading this in the morning, and I'm sorry to start your day off with this news. But I really need you to pray for me. Please pray for healing, and for wisdom as we walk this road. And please pray especially for Mark, our kids, David, Sydneyann, Sarah, and Ashley, and my parents. I think this has been more shocking for them than it has been for me.
Laura
Weird how time/life just keep going. I’ve always seen that to be true in times of crisis or disaster, but it’s interesting to experience it firsthand. I HAVE CANCER!!! …and life goes on.
Tears today – for Mark, for my kids, for my parents, for my friends, for plans that must change, for sweet, sweet emails from my friends. I love you all!!
What do I say now, when someone casually asks, “Hey, how are you?” “I’m good!” or “Fine.” don’t seem like appropriate responses, but neither does, “I have cancer.” But the truth is, I am good. Really, nothing has changed from two days ago – God is still on His throne. He is still good. He is still in control. He is still working out His good plans just like He was two days ago. I’m good. Really.
Food – I finally got to eat today! Late lunch at IHOP with Mark, Ashley, Teri, and Callie Chase. What sweet friends!! French toast, eggs, and bacon never tasted so good!
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