I have a new book: Finding Your Way Through Cancer by Andrew Kneier. It was just recently published and recommended to me by a very sweet friend. The author is a psychologist who has worked with cancer patients and survivors for seventeen years. The book was written out of his experience with families affected by cancer.
I have just barely started reading the book, but one of the statements I read today hit home. It was from the journal of one of Dr. Kneier's patients who was fighting stage 3 colon cancer. She said this, "I get to live three months at a time."
"Wow," I thought to myself. That's what I'm doing. I'm living three months at a time. Three months between doctor visits where I wait for someone to tell me that I'm still healthy. So far, so good. No sign of the dread disease. Then they set another appointment for me and send me on my way. "See you in three months," they say.
Initially, I feel relief, I feel joy, I feel like laughing. I race home, let my family know, and get busy with life. But over the weeks, in barely noticeable increments, the anxiety starts to return. And as the end of that three months gets closer, I find myself starting to wonder again, "what if..."
It sure will be nice when I can live six months at a time.