Enjoy the ride

Mark's dad preached at Community of Faith last weekend. He is an amazing preacher with 50+  years of experience and wisdom to share. He spoke about how God uses failures in our lives. Sometimes when I listen to sermons just one comment or one verse can lead my brain on to other thoughts. I can't even remember now what was said during the message that spurred my thinking, but somehow I started thinking about God being in control of our lives; and the idea that we have to recognize and allow him to be in control. 


I started picturing what it would be like if I was riding in the car as a passenger and didn't realize that Mark was actually driving. What would happen? Well, as soon as I thought that no one was in control of the car I would have jumped into the driver's seat and shoved Mark out of the way preventing him from driving. I would have grabbed the steering wheel, jerking the car out of its lane and into oncoming traffic. As the car veered out of control I would have suddenly pulled the emergency brake, sending the car into a totally uncontrolled spin all while still trying to kick Mark out of the way. I would have been dodging other cars on the road, trying to avoid mowing down pedestrians. Finally, screaming after a long struggle, my emotions off the scale, sweat dripping down my forehead, and tears in my eyes I would have finally brought the car to a complete standstill facing the wrong direction. Then I would have looked at Mark and screamed, "Why didn't you control the car?" 


Of course, that's not ever really going to happen. If I am a passenger in the car I can plainly see who is in control. I know who's driving. I'm not tempted to jump into the driver's seat and take over. Doing so would only lead to disaster. But how many times do I do just that in my life? I fail to remember that God is in control, or maybe I don't want Him in control, thinking I can do things better; and I jump in, push Him out of the way, grab the wheel and begin the struggle to control a careening life. How much wiser it would be to look to Him, see that He is God, He is good, He is in control? Then I can just sit back and enjoy the ride! 


"You, Lord, are the God our ancestors worshiped, and from heaven you rule every nation in the world. You are so powerful that no one can defeat you." 2 Chronicles 20:6


That's who I want in control in my life, the One that no one can defeat!

Ordinary Life

I love to watch the sunrise. I love the stillness and quiet of the morning, the anticipation of a new day and all the promise that it holds. In the early morning calm I am reminded that God is here and that he cares. The sunrise brings with it the chance for a fresh start, a new beginning, and renewed strength for whatever the day brings. I am grateful that God knew we would need these new starts, and that we would need them frequently!


Now that there are no kids in the house I don't see the sunrise very often. Mark and I don't have to get up before dawn to make breakfast or pack lunches or drive kids to school. And we miss those moments - the miraculous turning of the sky from black to brilliant hues of pink and orange - those moments that confirm that God is indeed a God of goodness and mercy, a God of new beginnings!


I haven't seen the sunrise lately, but I have seen the dawn of a new day in my life! For the first time in nearly a year, I have felt relatively normal! I feel good physically. I am not tired. I can eat. I can leave the house. I have been successful at rejecting fearful and worrisome thoughts. I feel the sun rising...


Thursday night Mark and I had the privilege of attending the George and Barbara Bush A Celebration of Reading at the Hobby Center. It was a really fun evening!


Friday night Mark and I enjoyed the Astros game with my parents. The Astros won, and we stayed all the way through the fireworks at the end of the game. Lots of fun!


Saturday I actually worked in the yard! I can't remember the last time I did that! It felt good to be in the sun, using muscles I haven't used in a long time. I'm not sure my surgeon would have been too happy, but he wasn't here! 


Sunday night I went swimming! I haven't been in a pool in a year! 


I read this quote from a cancer survivor today: 

"All I wanted was ordinary life back, for ordinary life, 

it became utterly clear, is more valuable than anything else." 

(Katherine Russell Rich, The New York Times, 4/26/2010)

Thank you, Lord, for giving me my ordinary life back. Please help me never to take that blessing for granted!


Maybe I'll get up and watch the sunrise tomorrow...

Remain in Him

For some reason it is taking me a while to actually get my brain back into gear and get on with my life. I'm sure this is a normal response after all the stress we've been through the past year, but it feels weird. Now that I am free of constant medical appointments, free of constant fatigue, free of medications and inconvenient side effects, I still feel like I am stuck here. I can't quite seem to get my "To Do" list made, which has NEVER been a problem in my life before! 


I was thinking about this last week and asking God for help in this area. After He stopped laughing at my idea of making a "To Do" list, He spoke to my heart.  It was as if God said, “You’ve been looking at it all wrong. You are not Laura Shook, girl who had cancer. You are Laura Shook, disciple of God. God has used cancer to teach you and train you and make you more like Jesus, but it doesn’t define who you are. You are still a disciple of God."

Nothing has changed really. I'm still me. The "rules" are still the same. Keep walking with God. Keep looking to Him to direct me and guide me. 

Just today these thoughts were reinforced as I read the following Scriptures: 

"But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death." Psalm 141:8

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. Psalm 16:11

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me. I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation is intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. John 15:4-5


Spending time with God, remaining in Him, fixing my eyes on Him, is the single most important thing I can do today. It is the greatest need that I have; and if I will put that at the top of the list, everything else will fall into place. 


Thanks for reminding me, Lord, that this is about so much more than a girl who had cancer. It's about You and Your Kingdom. Please help me to remain in You.

That's What Friends Are For

I was reading a speech the other day given by Drayton McLane. Mr. McLane is the Chairman of the McLane Group and the Chairman and CEO of the Houston Astros. He is also a incredible Christian leader in our city and in our national business community. 


It was a great speech on leadership. He spoke on the importance of personal integrity in every aspect of our lives, the necessity of embracing and growing through change, and the power of harnessing and using our imagination and our dreams. 


But one of the most important things he spoke about was the counsel he received from his mother across the years!  She taught Mr. McLane that his choice of friends would "completely dictate your life." She instructed him that "if you choose them wisely, they'll lift you up; choose them badly, and they'll pull you down." ("Leadership" by Drayton McLane, Baylor Magazine, Spring 2010)


Our friends are important because of the impact they have on our lives. I am happy to say that I have chosen my friends wisely! I think Mr. McLane's mother would be proud!


Last Thursday I was planning to speak at Women of Community of Faith, our monthly ladies Bible study. At that point, I was only a week and a half post-surgery, and my system was still adjusting and readjusting. I wasn't sure if I would be able to leave the bathroom long enough to attend the event, much less speak there! 


Well, my friends came through for me! 


Rita sent me a portable bidet. Seriously! I had no idea there was such a thing! It is battery powered and comes with a carrying case! Now, that's a true friend! She heard of the need and met it! Rita, I will think of you every time I travel!

Knowing my precarious situation, Sherry and Samantha came by the house last Thursday afternoon and brought a gift intended to give me peace of mind as I spoke on Thursday night: "Certainty: - disposable women's underwear!

Robin and Becky provided a little something to take home after the event. Such sweet friends! I have added it to the stockpile of Charmin that Kathy gave me last week!

                                         

Thankfully, I didn't have to use the Certainty pants! Everything was calm. Maybe that's because I didn't eat all day to avoid any "movement"?? It was so much fun to hang out with the women of Community of Faith, to be encouraged by them, and to share what God has been teaching me.  

I hope you have good friends like mine!

"He who walks with the wise grows wise."

Proverbs 13:20

Meet John and Ellen

John and Ellen live in Atlanta, Georgia. On April 7th their life was interrupted with John's diagnosis of stage 4 colon cancer. As this family began to look at treatment options, they were encouraged to come to Houston for treatment. Some good friends of John and Ellen are members of Community of Faith. They invited John and Ellen to stay at their home and gave them the names of my oncologist and surgeon. 

Everything has happened quickly in the past two weeks! John has had numerous tests, scans, and biopsies. He had  surgery on Tuesday to have a port inserted in his chest; and today he started aggressive chemotherapy. 

John and Ellen are trusting God to bring complete healing to his body. Please join me in praying for this family.

• Pray specifically that the tumors in his liver will shrink and be confined to one side of the liver making surgery possible
• Pray that the tumor in his colon will be responsive to chemotherapy
• Pray that his anemia will be resolved
• Pray for every cancer cell in his body to be killed
• Pray for mental and emotional strength for each new day
• Pray for minimal side effects of chemo - he will be receiving the same IV chemo drugs that I had
• Pray for their 16 year old daughter, Alexandra, who remains in Atlanta finishing up the school year

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you...

'You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.' " 2 Chronicles 20: 12 & 17


Thank you for your faithfulness to pray! If you would like to follow their journey you can click on the following link:

John & Ellen

Signs of Life

I've been thinking about scars lately. We all have them, in some form or fashion. Some are physical, some are emotional, but all of us carry them with us. And it's our choice what we will do with them. We can choose to let them constantly remind us of the pain we've experienced, to hold us captive to the past; or we can choose to let them remind us of our victories and take strength and courage from them to move forward.


In the past eleven months I have gained five new scars on my body. I was actually opened up in six different places, but one of them went through an old abdominal scar, so only five new scars. If you connect the dots on my belly, it actually forms a smile, with one large dimple! 


My daughter, Sarah, had surgery a couple of months ago and she has four new scars on her body. Her dot-to-dot smile is on the upper right side of her abdomen. 


We were comparing and discussing our scars one day and I was happy to know that Sarah wasn't bothered by her scars. She has chosen to see them as something positive. And I wholeheartedly agree. Scars, for me, are signs of life! I've been in the battle, I fought for my life, I fought for my family, and I WON! Bring on the scars! They just remind me that God has been good to me! 


We've been singing a new worship song at COF called "Let Our God Be Praised" by Chad Cates, Barry Weeks, and Michael Farren. The chorus goes like this:


To the One who reigns forever, to the One the seas obey
To the One who holds the heavens, let the nations stand amazed
For His mercy and His kindness, for His never-ending grace
For His love that’s ever reaching
Oh, let our God, let our God be praised


It's that same mercy, kindness, and never-ending grace that left me with scars - signs of life from the "One who holds the heavens" - and I am grateful!


My newest scar, where the ileostomy used to be, actually looks somewhat like a gunshot wound. Maybe that's what I'll tell people it is! I'm thinking that may be a more interesting story to tell! : )


News Flash:  I zipped AND buttoned my jeans for the first time in eight months today! 

New Routines

Thanks to everyone who has been checking on me! I haven't written on my blog since Thursday, and some of you were concerned. Don't worry! I am doing well, just had a busy weekend. Which is good news... I felt well enough to attend all four services at Community of Faith this weekend!


I had an appointment with the surgeon last Friday. He removed my stitches. I shared with him my bathroom adventures from the previous ten days. He says that everything is on schedule and that it will take 2-3 months for things to establish a new "normal" routine. The nerves in the section of my colon that were reattached are learning their new job, and that takes a little bit of time.


Having said all that, I am happy to report that it seems for now things have already settled into a "normal" routine. I know there may be some more non-routine days in the weeks ahead, but I think for the most part my intestines have adjusted quite well! 


I am able to eat a regular diet now, although it needs to be high in fiber. I can drive! Yay! And swim! Yay! But still no lifting or working out at the gym because of the risk of hernia at the surgical site. 


I don't have to go back to see the surgeon for another month. What will I do with all my free time now??


Oh yeah...

• organize and file away 3000+ insurance forms, receipts, lab reports, and medical forms
• clean off the piles covering all the surfaces in my house - kitchen counters, bedroom dresser, bathroom counters, coffee table...
• finalize plans for four COF mission groups traveling to Burundi, Mexico, and Costa Rica this summer
• make plans to move Ashley out of the dorm, and to move Sarah to her new apartment in Tulsa next month
• clean out my office and file 11 months worth of "stuff"

Can I go back to the doctor instead??