January 26, 2011

Dear David, Sydneyann, Sarah, and Ashley,

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much your encouragement, love, and support meant to me all through my cancer treatment; so that is the purpose of this letter.

I know it was probably difficult for you guys to be so far away and not have the opportunity to follow things on a daily basis. In fact one of the hardest things for me was knowing that in some weird way I had caused suffering and grief for my family.

As I faced decisions about my treatment and my future, the faces of my children were front and center in my mind.  My choice to go forward with IV chemotherapy was based on my desire to live longer with you, and to see more of what God is going to do in your lives.

I carried your pictures with me to every radiation and chemotherapy treatment, and to every hospital stay. You guys were my inspiration. On the most difficult days, in the times when I was scared, and in the moments when I wondered if I could follow through with my treatments, I would pull your picture out of my Bible and remember – I had a purpose and a reason for enduring. You all gave me hope.  The promise of more days and years with you gave me the strength I needed to persevere.

Your cards, emails, letters, texts, flowers, gifts, photos, phone calls, and visits brightened every moment.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for laughing with me and for crying with me. Thank you for playing games with me. Thank you for always looking on the positive side of things.  Thank you for all the things you did to help me. Thank you for understanding when my feelings and emotions were out of whack! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for encouraging and supporting your daddy through it all.

I am so proud to be your mother and to call you my children. Each of you is so incredibly amazing! I love how you pursue your dreams. I love how you strive to make a difference in the world; and how you allow God to use you to do so. 

We’ve made it through the first eighteen months. Three and a half years to go before they will declare me cancer-free. We don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that God is good and His plans for us are good. I pray you will never doubt that.

I love each of you with all my heart.  Thank you for walking with me through the past eighteen months.

Love,

mom