Saturday, January 8, 2011

Day 1 without Biscuit - 1/4/11

There is no reason to get up. No one is prancing around wanting to eat breakfast and go outside. No one impatiently waiting for me. There is no one to eat Demitri’s left-over food, or at least try to! There is no puppy to sit beside me on the couch as I journal and pray. Everywhere I turn I miss him. I keep looking for him in his kennel, but it’s empty. The house is so quiet, no barking, no “old man” moaning, no clicking of his nails on the tile floor. His water bowl still sits in the bathroom. Sometimes I think I see him walk by. I feel like my heart will burst with sadness.  I put his food bowl in the dishwasher… remembering how he wouldn’t eat yesterday morning, and how he licked Ashley’s soup bowl the night before. Life is no good without him. If I could have just held on to him for one more day…  Biscuit’s pill bottle is sitting in the kitchen  - the medicine that couldn’t save him.  His reindeer toy is on the kitchen floor. I hug it to my chest. What do I do with all his things? His bed is no longer beside mine. I finally fall asleep holding Biscuit's sweater close to my broken heart.


  1. Laura, my heart goes out to you. I do know the sadness, lonliness and heartbreak. I had to put my little Mitzi to sleep after having loved on her for 13 years! I don't pretend to know what it is like to lose a child...only a dog! I cannot fathom what it's like to lose a child if losing your puppy can be this bad! After Mitzi was gone, I started praying for all those mothers who have lost children.

  2. Dear Laura,
    My friend you have endured so much. My heart ached when I read that your heart was bursting with sadness. All I can do is pray for lots of band aids to keep that heart from exploding into a million pieces. I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Biscuit. It seems like despite his age, he kept going to make sure you were done with treatment and o.k. before he left....a true friend and companion.
    Love and prayers to you.

  3. Oh, sweet friend, I am SO very sorry for your heart ache! That makes my heart hurt for you! Biscuit was there with you through so many seasons!