Day 1 without Biscuit - 1/4/11

There is no reason to get up. No one is prancing around wanting to eat breakfast and go outside. No one impatiently waiting for me. There is no one to eat Demitri’s left-over food, or at least try to! There is no puppy to sit beside me on the couch as I journal and pray. Everywhere I turn I miss him. I keep looking for him in his kennel, but it’s empty. The house is so quiet, no barking, no “old man” moaning, no clicking of his nails on the tile floor. His water bowl still sits in the bathroom. Sometimes I think I see him walk by. I feel like my heart will burst with sadness.  I put his food bowl in the dishwasher… remembering how he wouldn’t eat yesterday morning, and how he licked Ashley’s soup bowl the night before. Life is no good without him. If I could have just held on to him for one more day…  Biscuit’s pill bottle is sitting in the kitchen  - the medicine that couldn’t save him.  His reindeer toy is on the kitchen floor. I hug it to my chest. What do I do with all his things? His bed is no longer beside mine. I finally fall asleep holding Biscuit's sweater close to my broken heart.