Cancer Humor

• For several weeks the sign at Memorial Hermann Hospital advertised a "Girls Night Out" with the topic of the night being "Surviving Menopause." As we drove by one day I laughed thinking if it was Girls Night Out I don't think I would be going to a menopause conference. And I commented to Mark, "Aren't you lucky that you didn't have to live through me going through menopause since the radiation took care of that for us?" There was silence in the car as my words sunk in. Then we both burst into laughter! "Yeah, we only had to go through cancer to get there!" It's all a matter of perspective!

• After my surgery I realized that the waistband of most of my jeans fell right across the ileostomy making it so that I couldn't wear them. I decided that maybe I could wear the super low rise jeans that all the young girls wear because they might fall below the ileostomy and not put pressure on it. Mark and I went up to the outlet mall. We entered the store and the salesperson asked if he could help me. You should have seen his face when I told him a was looking for super low rise jeans! They usually direct people of a certain age to a different section of jeans! But I stuck with my plans and just smiled at the salesperson as I tried on and bought my first pair of super low rise jeans! My only pair of jeans with a one inch zipper!

• I got a letter in the mail today from an insurance company trying to sell me life insurance. I laughed out loud! What are the chances that someone would actually sell me life insurance now? Slim to none!
  
  

"He will once again fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy."

Job 8:21

Today I am scared

My next PET scan is scheduled for Wednesday, March 17th. I haven't had one since the original scan in June of last year. And I haven't been worried about it at all. In fact I was so calm about it that I began to worry that I wasn't worried!! (I have to have SOMETHING to worry about, right?) I really believe that God has healed me, so certainly the scan will show that.

Then today comes. And I am scared. I have some issues with the nerves in my legs and feet that are related to movement of my head. Most likely this is a normal side effect of my chemotherapy. I ran out of the alpha lipoic acid that I have been taking daily to help with nerve irritation. I didn't take it for a few days. So I am sure this is a result of that.

But the mind starts to play games - every new surge of electricity from my feet to my knees is surely a result of metastatic disease. All the things I have learned about rectal cancer begin to play in my head. Rectal cancer has a high recurrence rate, and it most often recurs close to the original site or in the organs of the pelvic region. I must have a tumor on my spine...and so my thoughts spiral, totally out of control, and totally fabricated. Fear takes over, an unwelcome enemy.

Thankfully, the lessons I've learned begin to come into play: God is in control; God is in the future; take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ; focus on the truth; focus on today; reject lies; be clothed for battle, this is a war; pray continually; choose to trust; God IS good.

Peace comes in like a wave washing over me. Thank you God. I am yours.

"Hide me in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 17:8

Nothing is Impossible!

In 1995 Mark and I and our children moved to Costa Rica to attend Spanish language school. We lived in a small house in the neighborhood surrounding the school. Most of the homes in Costa Rica are surrounded by walls, gates, and bars. It actually took four keys to get all the way into the front door of our house! The back yard was surrounded by a concrete block wall that was at least eight feet tall. Nothing was going to get in or out of that house that wasn't supposed to!


One of the most amazing things about Costa Rica was the beautiful scenery. The rich volcanic soil and abundance of annual rainfall produced beautiful vegetation. The fence posts would actually sprout and grow during the rainy season! 


I remember one day feeling overwhelmed with the stress of moving to a new country, living in a new culture, and learning a new language. I was struggling to see my way through, and wondering if we had made the right decision in going there. I walked out into the backyard, thinking, and praying, and much to my surprise I found a beautiful flower growing out of the concrete wall. It was in full bloom. It was the most incredible sight! How was that possible?


In that moment, God reminded me that nothing was impossible for Him. It gave me hope and courage to continue.


"Nothing is impossible for God!" Luke 1:37


This week I was reminded again. I love having flowers and healthy plants in the yard, but, sadly, after the cold winter we've had this year in Houston, much of our landscaping has not survived. The back yard looks especially sad with brown palm trees all around. 


I walked out the front door the other day to find a single red rose blooming, and God whispered in my ear, "Remember the lesson of the flower in the wall in Costa Rica? It's still true. Nothing is impossible for me."


I am trusting God to continue to do the impossible. 


Update:
1. John and DonetteTerry were given hope today! John will start a new treatment next week. 
2. Tony was approved for a new study and began his new treatment this week. This treatment has proven to be especially effective against stomach cancer. 
3. My platelets were up to 68 this week. They are moving in the right direction!
4. Sarah is recovering well from her surgery last week.


Thank you for praying for God to do the impossible. Please don't stop!

I know

One of my favorite songs is "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe. I'm pretty sure I've shared some of the lyrics of that song on this blog before. It is one of the songs that frequently plays in my head and heart, and it has helped carry me through the past nine months. 


This weekend it was one of the songs we sang at Community of Faith. One of our worship leaders, Robin, sang the song as we all shared communion together. Robin has a beautiful voice and it is easy to just sit back, close your eyes, and feel God's love wash over you as she sings the words of this song. 


But for me, I can't help but be on my feet belting out the words of this song with a huge smile on my face! Over and over in the song we sang out the words, "I know..." These words seem so simple, but after all I have experienced and faced since last May, they are the most incredible words to me. I know. I have learned so much about the character, goodness, faithfulness, strength, peace, and truth of my God that singing those words produces a wellspring of gratitude and joy in me that can't help but come out. 


I know GOD! I KNOW Him. Like I never have before. We have such an intimacy now that makes me want to know Him more. And it also makes me feel sorry for those who don't know Him. He IS life. No matter what happens as I travel this path through cancer and follow-up care, I am OK. I've seen God, I've experienced His Holiness. I know. And nothing can shake that.


I know. 

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:5-6

Please pray with me

If you follow this blog, you will remember that I introduced you to John Terry a few months ago. John and his wife, Donette, have been bravely fighting cancer for the past year. Things seemed to be going well until December when the tumor in John's body began to grow rapidly again. They have been at MD Anderson Hospital for the past few days hoping to stabilize John's condition. On Tuesday they met with their medical team and were told the words they never wanted to hear. "The end is near, prepare yourselves and the family."

John and Donette know that this is not really "the end" of anything, just a temporary separation. But even knowing that truth doesn't take away the grief that they feel. They face difficult decisions in the next few days, as well as the heartbreaking task of breaking the news to their children.

Will you please join me in praying for the Terry family? Please pray for God's strength and endurance as they walk the path God has for them. Pray for God's wisdom as they make decisions. Pray that God's presence and His comfort would be very real for this family. Pray for pain relief for John and peace as he trusts God to take care of his family.

Thank you.

Pleasures of the Day

"You have made known to me the path of life; 
you will fill me with joy in your presence, 
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalm 16:11

Psalm 16 is one of my favorites. As I was reading it this morning I was keenly aware of God's presence, His joy, and His pleasures in my life! Now that I have finished my chemo treatments and am beginning to get my strength back, every day seems full of possibility and promise! 


Here are a few of my pleasures of the day:

Waking up after a full night's sleep!

Taking care of Sarah instead of everyone taking care of me!

Driving to somewhere other than a doctor's office!

Cleaning the kitchen without getting tired!

Planning my parents 50th Anniversary Party!

Getting back to work!

Sunshine and 62 degrees!

Receiving good news from a sweet friend!

I hope you are aware of God's presence, joy and pleasures in your life today!


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New Week

Usually the week following chemo week I continue resting and gradually begin to get all the things done that didn't get done the week before. This week has been a little different.

Monday I went to have blood work done, as usual. My platelets have dropped down to 43 and my white cell count has dropped. Both of those things were expected following my treatment.  A platelet count of 43 is hovering just over a dangerous level, so I was given specific instructions to watch for bruising and bleeding of any kind and to call the doctor if that happens. I've been in this position before, so I don't expect there to be any problems. I will have my blood checked again next Monday just to make sure that the platelet level has begun to climb and not continued to decrease.

I have to tell you that it felt really good to walk into the oncologist's office knowing that I would not be receiving any more chemotherapy. I think I was walking taller and I certainly had a bigger smile on my face!

Today we were back at the hospital, only this time I was not the patient! Our daughter, Sarah, had outpatient surgery today to remove her gall bladder. After almost a year of pain, it was time for it to come out! Surgery went well. Sarah is home and has already been walking around the house! So this week I get to be her nurse! : )  I know she would appreciate your prayers for a full quick recovery.

It has been such a lesson to me to watch how God has orchestrated the timing of everything over the past nine months.  Every thing in every area of my life. The timing of my last chemo treatment was perfect. The timing of Sarah's surgery was perfect. I wonder why I ever thought I needed to do His job?  He is much better at it!